Nov. 21, 2007

For some, hockey is simply a game, a way to have fun and make some friends. For Lake Superior State junior Troy Schwab, hockey has served a much greater purpose. Lacing up his skates was a source of comfort, stepping onto the ice a means of healing. Playing college hockey is a dream for many kids, but for Schwab, college hockey was a chance for a new beginning. In his own words, he explains how the game has helped him deal with unspeakable tragedy.

More Than a Game
By Troy Schwab

Growing up on a farm outside a small Saskatchewan town with two older brothers, hockey was our family life for eight months a year. We spent countless hours on the ice every day, all hours of the day. As we progressed and got older, my mother and father were making three trips a day to a larger centre for our hockey, 100 kilometers round-trip. Eventually they made the decision to uproot the family and move to Kindersley so my brothers and I could fulfill our hockey dreams. My sister obliged.

After the move, we began billeting junior hockey players. As great an experience this was for my family, it helped shape my future hockey dreams. I looked up to these players, wanting to follow in their footsteps and obtain a NCAA hockey scholarship. Three different players who lived with us throughout the years received scholarships to Princeton and Providence. When I was 17 years old that dream seemed like it could become a reality. I had just graduated high school, was playing junior hockey at a high level and was being scouted by American college teams.

My life would soon come crashing down in my very hands. Spending a weekend at the lake with my father, mother, nephew and friends turned into a short stay. My father had a disease called Fabry Disease, which is very rare. It affected his kidneys and heart. That day at the lake my father would give me advice in the world of sports. He encouraged me and advised me on things I could do better.

A few hours later he had a massive heart attack. I was the first one to the aid of my father, but there was nothing I could do. He laid there in my lap until my uncle started doing CPR and the ambulance got there. My father passed away that very day. My father was my best friend and number one supporter in anything I did. I had a very rough time emotionally for quite some time following the death of my father. Nothing seemed to matter to me anymore. I loved my mom and my family, but home just didn't feel the same anymore.

Not wanting to talk to anyone about what had happened or how I was feeling, I turned to the one thing that my father and I shared a great love for. Hockey became my place away from everything. Stepping on the ice and playing the game my father taught me to play was the easiest thing for me to do. My mind eased when I pulled up to the rink. As tough a time I had away from the rink, hockey was a nice break from everyday life. My father never missed a home game and attended many road games throughout my hockey career. I feel that he still never misses a practice or game. He is always upstairs watching down.

A couple of years later, my life started to get back on track. I was having success with hockey, enjoying my time with family and friends. Before I knew it, it all came crashing down once again. My best friend passed away at the age of 19. The one person I was able to talk to after the passing of my father was no longer there. Emotionally, I didn't know how I could deal with this again. I wondered why things always happened to me and what was going to come next. I again turned to the only thing that put my mind at ease. Two days later I stepped on the ice for my last year of junior hockey. I walked into that rink, seeing everyone stare at me, judge me and wondering why I was even there. What people didn't know is that I had to be there. It was the only thing that could keep me occupied and my mind at ease. Hockey was my way of dealing with obstacles that life threw my way.

I made a decision shortly after that. I wanted to fulfill my dream of obtaining a hockey scholarship. I wanted a new beginning in new surroundings. Lake Superior offered me that opportunity. I have been able to meet new people, make new friends and play the game I love to play. I have started a new chapter of my life here at Lake Superior, one that will carry me into the future, and I owe it all to hockey.

Everyday I lace up my skates I am playing for my father who is watching down on me. I think about all his advice he used to give me, and the advice he would be giving me today. I use that to get better as a player and as a person. Not a day goes by I don't think about the ones I have lost, or the people other than me who were affected by these tragedies. I feel for those people who didn't have a place to get away like I did in hockey.

Hockey has offered me more then anyone can imagine. It has given me new friends, new opportunities and a chance for a university degree. The thing hockey has given me the most was the support and desire to overcome obstacles and deal with the loss of loved ones.