Jan. 16, 2008

Michigan State senior defenseman Daniel Vukovic is one of four siblings to move out of his parents' home and achieve his goals and dreams. For Daniel, that dream was playing college hockey, but for his older brother Matthew, that dream was to serve his country in the Canadian armed forces. In his own words, Vukovic talks about what it's like to have a family member fighting overseas and how the experience has helped him gain perspective on his own life.

The Empty Nest
By Daniel Vukovic

Imagine having four kids in your house for 18 years and then in a matter of six months, they're all gone - all out. My sister moved to her own place in Toronto; my oldest brother left to study in Australia. I came to Michigan State on a hockey scholarship and my brother Matthew volunteered to fight the war on terror.

It was a huge adjustment. My mom was sad for all of us to move out, being left with an empty nest, but really, she was a wreck because of Matthew.

My older brother Matthew left for a 32-week tour in Afghanistan with the Canadian forces after the 9/11 tragedy. At first, our family was just so shocked. He did Cadets since he was young, probably 12 years old; and he's always been in the reserves in Canada, so we knew he wanted to be involved in law enforcement at some level. In Canada, you fight on a voluntary basis, but we never actually thought he would go overseas. At first, we were a little shocked. I would even say I was a little disappointed. But we weren't angry. We just weren't sure how to react.

Once we realized Matthew really wanted to do this with his life, we were so proud. We all got "Support The Troops" bumper stickers and bracelets. I even gave some to my teammates and coaches. Some people had no idea Canadians were involved in Afghanistan, but we're over there.

It was a small personal victory for me just to educate those people about Canada's - and Matthew's - efforts. No matter what he did growing up, he always wanted to help others. If there was a way for Matt to help, even in the smallest way, he did it, so Afghanistan was right for him. He explained the great cause he would be a part of; it wasn't to dictate this or that to the citizens there; he went for peace.

Matt would do just about anything they needed. He spent a lot of time disarming mines as a combat engineer in Kabul. He was there for three months before moving to Kandahar, which is the most dangerous city. Most of the rebel attacks or suicide bombings happened there - so for our family, it was scary. We would see on the news that Canadian soldiers had died in combat or a platoon was under attack. They don't call you immediately to tell you if it's your son or brother. We really had no idea what was going on. Actually, we didn't even know where he was a lot of the time. You just wait for THE call.

When Matt was able to call my mom, even though it was just for 20 seconds, he would say, "I'm alright. That's all I can say. I'll talk to you later." We were relieved for a little while, but then the fear came back; we were anxious for him to call again. On any given day, I could get a call saying my brother was killed in action. That was always scary to think about.

I would catch myself worrying about hockey or not playing in a game, but whenever I talked with Matthew, he put my life in perspective. I was worried about ice time, while he was worried about rebel attacks. I realized I'm getting the opportunity of a lifetime to play collegiate hockey, while Matt is volunteering to give me - to give us - the opportunity to do what we want with our lives.